John and I were both excited about attending our very first meet the teacher night at Little Saints School. John is extremely excited about all the things Sofia will do two days out of the week. I was excited up until the teacher said their nap time will be at 1pm. I’m like, “but her nap isn’t until 3:30pm!”
I am excited that she will go outside and play because right now she doesn’t, unless we cover her up in mosquito repellent. But I do feel very anxious. Some days, I feel that she’s not ready to go. Other days, I feel glad she will be able to do things she hasn’t had an opportunity to do just yet like being around kids her own age (all her cousins are so much older than her). Last night, I felt overwhelmed by mixed emotions and John couldn't have felt better about the program. What that heck is going on with me!? I’m sure this is normal. I’m sure this is what every first time mom goes through.
I woke up at 3am this morning questioning myself about this decision and couldn’t get back to sleep. I’m already crying at the thought of leaving her there with strangers! UGH!!! John is very supportive but at the same time he understands that mommies just feel different about these situations. He says “I’ll get over it” and that’s exactly what he told me the day I got back to work and left Sofia behind at home with my mom. I still feel pain leaving her every morning. This process sucks. Who knew becoming a mommy hurt so much and to think this is only the beginning. –Sandra.