Thursday, September 3, 2009

Tears and more Tears

Today was a very tough day. Emotional tough day. Today was Sofia's half day at Little Saints and also the day my Auntie went back home to El Salvador.

First, Sofia's half day at school. I got up early. We ate breakfast. I dressed her up with her new sneakers and headed to her school. I was still a little uncomfortable until her Teacher Mrs. Carol open the door to the room and as I walked in, I lost it. I started crying, I couldn't stop my tears. At this point, I didn't care who was looking at me. I cleaned Sofia's hands. I put her down, she started playing, kissed her goodbye and I left. There was this Boohoo/Yahoo Party at the Fellowship Hall but all I wanted was to be alone. I cried and cried in my car and as I left the school, I felt a sense of abandonment, like I had abandoned my child. It was horrible.

This is the only picture of Sofia that I could take this morning.
Second, my Auntie has been watching Sofia for about three months since my mom left to take a break and today was the day of her departure. So, I came back home and I cried so more when I told her about leaving Sofia at school. Then John came to get her to take care to the airport. I cried again when we said our goodbyes. So, I practically cried all morning.

We took these pictures yesterday evening out in the yard. Below are Sofia's bodyguards...oops! I mean cousins, Andrew and Sammy.
Andrew and Sofia.
When I went back to get Sofia, I was feeling somewhat better. I asked Mrs. Carol how Sofia did and she said, "Sofia didn't even blink when you left." I said, "is that right?" I noticed kids crying when they saw their mommies at the door. Sofia had to literally be taken away from the toy section to where I was waiting for her. She looked upset for being taken away from the toys, but when she saw me, she was like, "oh, hey mom, there you are!"

I noticed her hands were blue, so I'm thinking markers and her blouse had been colored blue as well. Thankfully, I was able to take away the stain of the marker in her blouse. Her clothes are not expensive but they sure cost money.

Here's Sofia's first abstract artwork. So, I told John how it went for me and how it went for Sofia and he laughed. Not at me but at the way Sofia handled herself in the classroom. John said, "yep, she's like me, independent!" John said he didn't missed his mom on his first day of school. I don't remember at all.

At any rate, I just pray that this gets easier. -Sandra.


D.Richmond said...


I can relate. My youngest is very independent, too, just like her Dad. It drives me crazy sometimes when it seems like she doesn't need me. But, they do need us, and we are very important to them. You will continue to be important to her even as she spreads her wings a little bit. Regardless, I send prayers of comfort to you!

John, Sandra and Sofia Seaman said...

thank you! you are very sweet! -Sandra.