Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Grief Class - Week One
I may look like I'm happy, running, jumping, shopping and doing all the normal things people who are not grieving do every day, at the end of the day, I am still trying to make sense of things, I'm trying to get myself out of the dark cave.
There are days I find myself in denial, then I'm angry, then I'm happy because I choose to ignore everything inside of me, then I entered denial again and the cycle repeats itself over and over again.
I felt hopeless tonight and this is my feeling for today. Hopeless. And it is neither right or wrong. It is just my feeling.
But today, I want to share the "Mourner's Bill of Rights" by Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D. in case anybody is feeling sorry for me. Don't! Instead pray for me.
Here it is:
1. I have the right to experience my own unique grief.
2. I have the right to talk about my grief.
3. I have the right to feel my emotions.
4. I have the right to physical and emotional limits.
5. I have the right to "griefbursts." (this happens to me a lot.)
6. I have the right to make use of ritual.
7. I have the right to embrace my relationship with God.
8. I have the right to search for meaning.
9. I have the right to treasure my memories.
10. I have the right to move towards grief and heal.
At the end of the class, one of the facilitators call me over and gave me a book called, "Don't Forgive Too Soon. Extending the Two Hands That Heal." I told her I have many "grief" books I haven't even begun to read because they just depressed me even more but that I would consider this one only because it looks colorful and has pictures inside! She was very nice.
Alright, so right now I'm feeling like going back to denial. Good night.