Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Loneliness Vs. Aloneness

"Solitude makes us tougher toward ourselves and more tender towards others." - Friedrich Nietzsche

Tonight, I acknowledge out loud that I do need alone time. I long for that dark corner to cry my heart out. Whoever might be reading this for some odd reason, don't feel sorry for me, in fact, this is pretty normal stuff from someone who is grieving. Actually, once I acknowledge it, someone else acknowledge it as well. Pretty tough to do but also liberating to acknowledge you do need help and is ok. I'm not a misfit, but someone in pain.

So, today we learned the difference between loneliness vs. aloneness and here it is:

"For a person to choose or to accept being alone seems to make others uncomfortable. We often judge the person to be "odd" or "strange."

"...because being alone can allow us to experience the pain and sort out the buried emotions without distraction."

I put myself in the aloneness category.

  • Loneliness can be very painful and destructive.
  • Loneliness can be an unconscious, self imposed isolation.
  • Lonely people often blame others for not seeking them out.
  • Lonely people often feel incomplete without another person's input.
  • Lonely people often think they are boring and undesirable.
  • Lonely people are too secure with old habits and usually don't wish to try anything new.
  • Lonely people may feel they are being controlled by circumstances or only another person can remedy their situation. They often fear responsibility.
  • Lonely people sometimes feel they do not deserve the interest and even the love of others.
  • Choosing to be alone can be a positive life-giving experience.
  • To be alone can be a choice that has been well thought out.
  • People who are comfortable with being alone soon realize they can reach out at any time when in need.
  • Being alone can force us to learn our own self worth.
  • People who can be alone are usually willing to experiment with new thoughts and activities.
  • People who enjoy being alone can often accept full accountability for their actions.
  • Those who are able to be alone often realize that such negative feelings are self-generated. Their egos are healthy enough to know they are loved and lovable even when they are not "with" others.
I think that choosing to be alone is great to silence the mind which can take a lot of practice but to also listen to His voice and find healing. My grieving facilitator gave me this place to consider and another that I just can't find the website, it's call Mt. Carmel in Lewisville.


So, I keep moving forward in hopes that one of these days, I cry and hurt less.

No comments: