Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Emotionally Relocate

Earlier today, I had made a decision not to go to my grief class due to many, many excuses, So, when I called John he told me this parable of a dog sitting on top of a nail in a corner, long story short, at 6:40pm, I was on my way to my class. My intuition was telling it was going to be a painful class and perhaps I should have paid more attention and not allowed John to made me feel guilty.

Tonight, we shared "good stories" of our relationship about our deceased one. I had none to share. I struggled to find one story but nothing came to mind. I sat there unable to speak or say anything. When the facilitator asked me to share, I said pass. I felt overwhelmed and I only wanted to get out of there. I felt just like I did at his funeral. Hurt and angry.

I need to forgive.

This is the prayer we did tonight:

Dear Lord, I know that...

To let go is not to welcome sorrow but learn from it.

To let go is not to deny but to accept.

To let go is not to stop caring but to care in a different way.

To let go is not to reject what was but to make the most of what can be.

To let go is not to isolate myself but to realize I can make it on my own.

To let go is not to push others away but to let them into my life.

To let go is not to forget the past but to live in the present and dream for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more.

Dear Lord, help me to let go.

-Author unknown

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