13 things I've learned in 13 years of marriage

 Well, few people know that our ride to 13 years of marriage has had it's ups and the very ugly downs. But here we are and  we are not taking it lightly anymore but conscious of every step and decision we make together. 

So here's my 13 things that I have learned. 

1. Marry Your Equal

Make sure there are a lot more things in common that you agree and share together so that there will be less unhappy surprises.

2. Marriage is Hard. Period.

As the time goes by, you might wondered if you partnered with the wrong guy, but reality sets and you REALLY start getting to know each other's flaws. Do not run from it but tackle it with patience and grace. 

3. Get over it!

We are not perfect! I like things  a certain way and I have to accept and learn that his shoes left on the kitchen counter may not be as dirty as they look. 

4. It's What You Do that Counts. 

It doesn't matter if I'm not a morning person or that he's not a late night person. Work on a happy medium. 

Make each other feel special for how much they mean to you. 

5. Strangest Things Do Work!

When they happen don't over analyze it. Take it and run with it. 

Such is the case when we bought a brand new car in both of our names a month before our divorce was to be finalized. Thankfully, the car helped us her to Houston and no divorced happened.

6. People Change. 

I did. I see my wedding gown and I dont like it anymore so off to goodwill it went. 

When two people help each other to grow, it will flourish. 

7. Touch

Hold hands. Always. 

8. Dialog

Dialog about each other's feelings. It's is important to know what your spouse is going through. Never judge their feelings or tell them they shouldn't feel a certain way. Instead say; tell me more. 

9. Kids

When you have kids everything changes! 

Including your marriage and it should. It should make it stronger! Team up and be on the same page. You got differently personalities to raise and accommodate in your life. But never forget to make time for each other. And lead by example. 

10. Planning 

Always take into consideration their ideas and suggestion as you would like him to take yours. You will be happier and not fight so much on the road. 

11. Don't Forget Who You Are

You are still an individual with needs and wants. If your spouse respects your individuality, you chose correctly. 

12. Help!

Don't ever think you are the only one with marriage problems. Seek help before it's too late. I made that mistake. 

12. Live, Love, and Laugh! 

Together! Even when he farts and wakes you up from deep sleep! 

13. Forgiveness

Know how to truly forgive. 

It is always a struggle and not an easy task but forgiveness can open the doors to unimaginable things. 

10th Year Wedding Anniversary

Yep, we made our 10th year anniversary last week, June 16th and John made me cry on my anniversary. We did promise to take off on our anniversary every year moving forward no matter what! So, we went out to the place where we had our first date. I'm not the type who needs to be showered with flowers and bling (jewelry.) No. I look for something more meaningful than that, I seek closeness, dialog, and holding hands. So, we went to Cafe Madrid, is a tapas Spaniard restaurant and John advise me that we could have anything on the menu, so we ordered a very good bottle of  red wine, "Campo Viejo" and had a good amount of tapas and of course dessert.

Prior to our dessert being served, John slapped a small box on the table and said, "Happy Anniversary, baby." I thought, how romantic, I was only waiting for dessert. "thank you, you shouldn't have," I replied. So, I opened the box and it was my old wedding band with a pearl. "But, where's my diamond on my wedding band." I have not worn my wedding ring since I got pregnant with Sofia in 2007, my knuckles on my fingers got big, therefore, I couldn't wear my ring.

Then, John took out my ring and inside the box, there was my Marquee diamond in a new spanking wedding band! I couldn't believe my eyes, and I cried! I missed wearing my ring but one thing after another, resizing my ring was like the last on our list. I love surprises and John admits it is hard to surprise me. Forget flowers, our anniversary was amazing!! I'm signing for many more!! Yey to us!! This past 10 years have not been a peach but our marriage was worth saving!

-Sandra.

9 Years

At 7pm tonight, John and I marked our 9th wedding anniversary.

We have known each other for 11 years total. Both of us still can't believe we have known each other for that long and it feels like we just met yesterday. But when we start looking at our photo albums then we realise that we have done so much together.

These 9 years have not being easy and the next years to come will not be easy either but with a renew commitment and trust in the Lord everything is possible.

I am looking forward in the years to come to celebrate our wedding anniversaries with our daughters. I want them to look at us and see that even though the marriage road is a tough one with many sacrifices along the way that it is also a blessing from the Lord to share your life with the one the Lord chose for you to spend the rest of your life with.

We pray that other couples can continue on in their marriage and keep the family union as one.

-Sandra.

8th Year Wedding Anniversary

John's strongest feeling about our 8th year anniversary was Thankful. Mine was Impressed.
Impressed because there was a time that I didn't think we would see our 6th. I am also thankful that we were able to climb that wall and finally walk past it. While climbing that wall, we fell and cried, but every fall we got up and tried again and here we are now on our 8th better than our 6th and growing each day.

John gave me this beautiful inspirational frame. I love what it says. He also took me to eat to my favorite Sushi place. I didn't eat Sushi of course. I did eat Eel, cooked, Miso soup and Tempura.


Here it sits at my office right besides my baby's picture.
I don't expect jewels or nothing expensive. After what we have been through I have learned to cherish those things that can never be replace. My marriage. -Sandra.