A Civil War soldier somehow transports himself to Mars. Yep, Mars and due to no gravity in Mars, he leaps, jumps instead of walking. There he encounters several races of...umm..people who are at war with each other and in order to find peace the princess has to married the bad guy. So, John Carter is the one to save her by aligning himself with the guys who look like they just finished filming Star Wars. No, really.
In the beginning of John Carter, we agreed on why this movie was given bad reviews, but by the end of movie, we wanted to know more about where he's gone and what he would find. So, it wasn't such a bad movie if it hadn't been such a long movie. Not bad, not good, but so, so.
We give it: 2 1/2 stars.
Based on a Shakespeare novel by the name of "The Tragedy of Coriolanus." This movie goes something like this while the characters in this movie are in modern times:
Coriolanus: "I'll fight with none but thee, for I do hate thee."
Aufidius: We hate alike.
Coriolanus: O, a kiss Long as my exile, sweet as my revenge!
Coriolanus: He that will give good words to thee will flatter beneath abhorring. What would you have, you curs that like nor peace nor war? The one affrights you, the other makes you proud. He that trusts to you where he should find you lions, finds you hares; where foxes, geese. Who deserves greatness, deserves your hate.
I pulled out my dictionary due to some words that I had never ever heard before. At first we were annoyed at the way they were talking but soon we got the hang of it and didn't mind much at all. So much so, that I was rooting for poor Coriolanus!
We give it: 3 Stars.
I was not excited about seeing this movie like John was so I was dragged because we were able to get away and have a movie date. This is about a princess whose parents want to marry her by choosing a mate for her. She was against it, her mother was making her choose one or the winner of a game sort of contest which she won. The princess went to a witch to help her change her mother! All I have to say is that I was crying at the end of this movie. The relationship between the queen mother and the princess was hard at times, they both wanted each other to change without accepting each other for who they were.
I give it: 3 Stars
Mickey Rourke starts as the bad guy who wants to conquer some Greek land by capturing the oracle. While the hero doesn't want to be the hero because he doesn't like war but unknown to him, he is chosen by the oracle to save the land. The gods do show up in this movie, about the only thing that was cool about it. Cheesy dialog. Fighting was cheesy. The man's torsos were not cheesy.
We give it: 1 1/2 stars.
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